Taking the Power Away from the OCD Monster
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is often described as a relentless monster that thrives on uncertainty and doubt. This "OCD monster" convinces you that your intrusive thoughts, urges, or sensations, should be listened to and taken seriously and that your compulsions are necessary. It tells you that cant tolerate uncertainty. It even tells you that your anxiety will last forever. But the truth is that OCD only has much power as you give it. The more you can see if for what it is (as just thoughts, urges, sensations), the weaker it becomes.
Understanding the OCD Cycle
OCD follows a predictable cycle: intrusive thought, image, sensation or urge → anxiety → compulsion or ritual (checking, reassurance seeking, etc) → temporary relief → repeat. This cycle traps you in an endless loop, making you feel like you must give in to OCD’s demands just to find peace. The key to breaking free is recognizing that the relief OCD provides is temporary. Each time you perform a compulsion, you reinforce the idea that the fear was real and that you needed to act on it. Over time, this strengthens OCD’s grip.
So how do you take away its power? By learning to sit with uncertainty, challenging its lies, and resisting the urge to engage in compulsions or checking.
Recognize the thoughts for what they are
Understanding that the thoughts are a symptom of OCD and not an indication of one’s true desires can be incredibly relieving. Remind yourself that just because a thought or urge appears in your mind does not mean it reflects your intentions or values. OCD’s power comes from deception. It tells you that your intrusive thoughts, or sensations or urges are dangerous, that you must perform rituals to stay safe, and that uncertainty is unbearable. None of this is true. These thoughts, urges and sensations associated with OCD stem from hyperactive neural pathways that misfire, signaling that something is “wrong” when, in reality, there is no actual danger or necessity for action. OCD falsely assigns meaning or importance to these thoughts or sensations, making them feel more intense and urgent than they are truly are. The next time OCD tells you a lie, challenge it:
"I can handle uncertainty, even if it’s uncomfortable."
"Just because I have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true or important.”
“A thought is just a thought. There is nothing I have to do.”
Taking back Your Power
You cannot control what pops into your head, but you can control what you do with these thoughts. You can control how you respond or whether you respond at all. The more you engage in rituals, avoidance, or reassurance-seeking, the more power you are giving your obsessive thoughts. You can sit with anxiety and discomfort and you will get through it. You will teach the faulty alarm system in your brain that there is no real danger. Your brain will begin to recognize that you can get through this and nothing terrible will happen, leading to “habituation”. This happens when someone’s physiological or emotional responses to something start to diminish.
Embrace Uncertainty
OCD hates uncertainty. It wants you to be 100% sure that nothing bad will happen, but that’s an impossible demand. Whether you check the stove multiple times or ask everyone you know for reassurance, the goal is to feel certain that the feared outcome won’t happen. The problem is certainty is impossible and the only way to feel free is to embrace uncertainty. Instead of responding to a “What if?” by ritualizing and desperately trying to achieve certainty, it is better to respond with “Maybe…” and work on accepting the uncertainty.
Be Kind to Yourself
OCD can be exhausting, and recovery isn’t linear. Some days will be easier than others, and setbacks are normal. Instead of beating yourself up when you struggle, practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself like you would a friend, such as “My OCD Monster is loud today, but I don’t have to give it power.”
Get Support
You don’t have to fight OCD alone. Therapy, especially with a therapist trained in ERP, can be life-changing. The gold-standard treatment of OCD is exposure response prevention therapy (ERP). ERP is when you voluntarily expose yourself to the source of your fear over and over again, without acting out any compulsion to neutralize or stop the fear. By repeatedly facing something you’re afraid of, you force your brain to recognize how irrational it is. Exposure is gradual and in this collaborative, supportive process, you are encouraged to begin with exposures that feel achievable, which allow you to feel successful.
Taking the power away from OCD isn’t about eliminating intrusive thoughts—it’s about changing your response to them. The less you engage, the weaker OCD becomes. You are stronger than OCD, and every step you take toward reclaiming your life proves it. I would be honored to support you from my Westchester therapy practice or for clients in NY or CT virtually.